Lillian’s Birth Story: the start of the road to home birth

(This is long. You might want to grab a cuppa.)

I came across this article from Birthtalk.org on facebook today. It talks about how many people go into labour thinking they’ll just ‘go with the flow’ and how that can often work against them when it’s the hospital that dictates that flow. This quote from the article pretty much sums up why we chose a homebirth following our experience with Lillian’s birth:

“While we can’t control childbirth, we certainly can have a level of control over the environment we are birthing in, made possible by the knowledge we bring to the birth, the support we have around us, and the ability to ask the right questions. Once these things are in place, it becomes time to go with the flow – but with a different focus. Once a woman has this additional information and support, it becomes the flow of BIRTH we are going with, not ‘the flow of birth as dictated by an institution or a particular carer’. It is then possible to surrender to the power of your birthing body, to follow the flow of this birth, knowing that you have set in place the people and the environment to support you in meeting your goal of ‘empowered healthy mother, and healthy baby’, no matter what path your birth follows.”

I never shared Lillian’s full birth story here. I wrote it out in the first week or so after her birth and I’m going to share it now because really, without that experience I don’t think I would have taken the steps to create such a positive experience with Edward’s birth. I want to be clear that I was not traumatised after Lillian’s birth. During the labour I felt well supported by really lovely midwives and I credit them for helping me to avoid a caesarian. But, the more I read about birth afterwards the more I realised that the timeline I was put on by the health system during that labour may not have been the only timeline we could have followed. The main thing I wanted to avoid with Edward’s birth was the feeling of being rushed and of not progressing fast enough for hospital policies. (Of course, keeping in mind the healthy baby goal.)

So, here is Lillian’s story, as I wrote it back then with a few new comments in italics and the names of midwives/doctors changed.

Lillian was born in Scotland and our two options for birthplace were the hospital in Dundee (a big teaching hospital) or a small midwife unit in Arbroath. (Actually homebirth was also an option in the UK and encouraged by my midwife as the only way to ensure a midwife at birth who you knew beforehand, but at the time I didn’t seriously consider it, though Dave was keen.) We were aiming to give birth at the midwife unit because of the individual attention both during labour and afterwards and the facilities available (e.g. birth pool, own room after birth, quiet, relaxed environment.) However, it was always a possibility that if things did not go ‘normally’ we would have to go to the hospital, which is what happened.

Thursday 28th June 2007 (11 days overdue)

I woke up at 4:30am when my waters started slowly leaking. I stayed up for a bit to see if anything else would progress but nothing more happened so I went back to bed. Dave had a half day at work before picking up his brother from the train from London and coming home. I spent the morning at home, I felt cosy there and declined a walk with Dave’s parents and Nan (who had arrived the night before on a trip planned to see the new baby who was supposed to be born already.) I bounced about on my ball trying to get things moving. My waters leaked on and off all morning and I was having some braxton-hicks contractions.

I already had a midwife appointment booked for that afternoon, so after lunch we went in at 3:15pm and told her what was going on. She was not convinced it was my waters until I undressed for an examination and leaked all over the floor. She couldn’t do the exam due to infection risk once the waters have broken.

NHS policy is that if labour does not start within 24hrs of the waters breaking then it will be induced. The midwife called both the midwife unit at Arbroath and the hospital to discuss the situation. We were told if labour started before 10am Friday morning to go to Arbroath as planned but if not to call the hospital and go in for an induction.

So we went home and Dave tried to hit every bump in the road on the way. And then we waited.

At about 6pm I started having proper contractions (this is where I count the 38hrs from.) They were painful enough that they made me stop what I was doing but lasted less than a minute each and I could breathe through them and used a hot water bottle to manage the pain. These continued all night on average about every 20-25mins but sometimes as frequently as every 6-10mins and sometimes with 45mins in between. It made sleeping pretty much impossible as they were more painful lying down.

Friday 29th June 2007

Morning came and I wasn’t in labour ‘enough’ to go to Arbroath. We called Arbroath at about 7:30am for advice and basically they said there’s nothing we could do to hurry it up at that point and that we should call the hospital at 10am as planned. When we called we were told they were busy and would call us back as soon as a room was available. At about 11:30 they called back and asked us to come in for 12:30 after having some food. So all packed up we headed in to the hospital.

When we got there we were taken straight into a delivery room. I had expected to have to wait but the place seemed very quiet and we got settled in the room right away. There was a midwife and a student midwife and we chatted away as they got me hooked up to the syntocinon drip and things got going. I was examined and was 2-3cm dilated.

The midwives were great and said that they had read our birth plan and were really sorry that things were going to be so different to how we had imagined; e.g. limited movement, constant monitoring, no pool. They still did their best to make the environment comfortable and every time someone entered the room they knocked first and waited to be let in. We settled back and watched a bit of Wimbledon on the tv.

At about 3pm the first midwife shift finished and another, Marlene, took over. Marlene thought I was handling the contractions too well and that my waters may not be fully broken, therefore the syntocinon not working properly. (Note: during Edward’s labour I was silent through contractions until the very end so I think that’s just how I do it.) She did an internal examination but couldn’t tell if she was feeling a water bulge or the baby’s head with some swelling. She called in the senior midwife for a second opinion who examined me and poked about with a plastic stick thing (very painful as they did it during contractions) and decided she thought it was the head. I think at this point they turned up the syntocinon again. The contractions started getting closer together and I asked for gas and air but it didn’t do much at all for me. I went back to just breathing through them.

At about 4pm I was examined again by Marlene and was still only 2-3cm dilated. She called a doctor for a medical opinion as she was still not sure if my waters had fully broken. The doctor examined me and said that she thought it was the head they were feeling and not a water bulge.

At about this point I decided to have an injection of diamorphine. This helped with the contraction pain and made me snoozy in between. It lasted about 4 hours or so and I had a second shot later on. As the night wore on, Dave was exhausted and sleeping on the floor. He was also feeling faint and nauseous from lack of sleep and food and I was trying not to worry about him too.

At 11pm Marlene finished her shift and was replaced by Diane.

Saturday 30th June 2007

The syntocinon drip was turned up to 10 mg/h and the contractions became very intense with no gap in between them. However, whenever the syntocinon was turned down they were too short and spaced out too much again.  They kept turning it up and down trying to find a balance.

At about 1:30am the baby’s heartbeat started showing a dip during contractions and the doctor returned. They talked about doing an ultrasound to check the baby’s position as they were concerned it may be breech. The doctor decided that the baby was ok and that they just needed to keep an eye on the contractions.

At this point the syntocinon was turned up again and I was getting no break between intense contractions. I was exhausted and had a meltdown with much crying. The doctor told me I needed to ‘consider my analgesic options’ and I decided to have the epidural.

The anaesthesiologist, Dr Frances, came quickly and they turned the syntocinon down so the epidural could be put in without me moving. Dr Frances had trouble putting in the epidural as I apparently have “long bones”, but he got there in the end. The epidural gave me the shakes but the pain relief was fantastic and I was able to sleep on and off for about 5hrs. It also gave Dave a chance to sleep and they brought in a more comfy reclining chair for him.

Diane sat by me monitoring the machines and contractions with her hand on my stomach all night. They turned the syntocinon up to 20mg/hr.

In the morning (at about 6 am) I was examined again and pronounced fully dilated. I was so relieved! Diane said to sleep for another hour before we started pushing to see if the head would move further down on its own first. During this examination they could see the head and Dave got to see the baby’s hair.

The doctor came back to the door, but the midwife told her that a healthy baby was about to be delivered, and didn’t let her in.

The epidural was wearing off as the pushing started and I was able to mostly feel when a contraction was starting and Dave and the midwife would confirm on the monitor and I would push. I tried to do at least three big pushes per contraction.

At about 7:30am Diane’s shift finished and she was replaced by Maria. Diane was disappointed to miss the birth after the long night but wished us luck and said she would look up what we had on her next shift. The pushing took just over 1.5hrs with Dave and the midwife there encouraging me.

Finally I could feel the head coming out and Maria told me to stop pushing as the cord was wrapped twice around the baby’s neck and she had to untangle it.  I was yelling ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch over and over and then finally they said one more push and Lillian was born at 8:08am.

She was put immediately onto my chest and the midwife said, “What did you get?” and I checked to see if she was a boy or girl and we told Lillian her name. Lillian was quiet for a few moments, just making little grunting noises until the midwife gave her a rub with a towel and she started crying.

Dave cut the cord and I held Lillian on my chest while the placenta was delivered and I was stitched up. I had a small second degree tear that needed three stitches.

We were left alone for a while and then they weighed her (3.48kg), we had a go at breastfeeding, she was dressed in the clothes we’d picked out and they served us tea and toast. Best meal ever!

I was given a sponge bath and a porter was called to transfer us up to the ward. Dave’s family came to visit at 3pm and Dave stayed on till about 6pm before heading home to sleep.

That night alone in the hospital ward was hell. I had still had no real sleep since Wednesday night except for the epidural time and I was in a room with three other women and their babies. Lillian didn’t mind the noise but cried whenever it was too quiet! I spent the night counting the hours until 9am when Dave would be back and was so relieved to see him when he arrived. Dave’s family flew out that morning after another quick visit to the hospital outside of visiting hours. We had to bring Lillian to the ward doors so they could see her.

Dave looked after Lillian while I had a shower and started to get organised for going home. Lillian had a few more checks including passing a hearing test, I was checked over too and finally at about 3pm we were given the all clear to go home. We left the hospital feeling like we were doing a runner with someone else’s baby! But she is ours and we’re keeping her.

Post script: For about three days after the birth I had a terrible headache. The hospital said it wasn’t an epidural headache but I have never had anything like that before or since and can’t help but attribute it to the drugs in my system. I also pulled a neck muscle during the pushing stage as I couldn’t feel properly where/how to push. The pain of both caused me to vomit. Basically, for the first couple of days at home Dave took care of Lillian bringing her to me only for feeds while I slept and recovered. I felt like I was missing out on precious early moments but just couldn’t physically handle it. In comparison, even with the haemmorhage, the recovery from Edward’s birth was a breeze.

Links I’ve Liked of Late

The essay is done! I didn’t quite make midday because the weather was glorious and we went for a family walk to the park instead, but it was done and submitted in time.

Over the last few weeks while I’ve been head down working on these two assignments I’ve been marking a lot of things in my blog reader to come back to and look at or watch in more detail. So now that I’ve had time to do that I thought I’d share some of them with you.

This flash mob in Paris is pretty cool.

This great post from Owlet about trusting birth led me to find out about this documentary, Trusting Birth, currently in the making. Here’s the teaser video. They’re looking for funding to finish it off.

Chontelle at the Wise Robin is celebrating one year of blogging with a little handmade giveaway. It closes on Friday so go and have a look!

Danielle from Hello Owl inspired me to make dumplings. Here they are waiting to be cooked tonight.

A cool pregnancy video that I came across on Design Mom.

Two posts with things to do with Instagram photos here and here.

Gorgeous video of a Dad singing his bub to sleep found on Marvelous Kiddo.

I loved The Borrowers books as a child and am looking forward to seeing this movie. And I must track down the books to read with Lillian.

And speaking of books for kids, this sounds great.

I think that will do for now. It’s wet and windy and cooooold here today. I’m wearing my clapotis scarf and can feel winter in the air. Nearly time to pick up the kids, then dumplings, dinner and craft night! A good night for some crochet methinks.

Birth Journeys

I seem to be writing a lot about birth lately. I promise I’m not pregnant.

I’d heard of the Birth Journeys book through one of the people whose story is included. I didn’t realise until today, however, that the editor of the collection went to my (small) high school and was a few years ahead of me. Apparently the book also includes the birth story of another person from my high school. It sounds like my sort of book. Twenty-nine inspiring birth stories including caesareans, VBACs and natural births in hospital, birth centres and at home. I’m going to try and get to the Newcastle book launch in April.

While I’m on the subject of birth stories, Georgia at Gregarious Peach has had some lovely ones lately. Welcoming Darcy has the sweetest video and the full story is here on My Birth My Way (along with a whole page of birth stories that I’ve not looked at yet.) Georgia also recently published this story of a homebirth after caesarian.

Better (and Face of Birth)

Thank you for the lovely comments (and phone call!) after my last post. I didn’t mean for things to sound so miserable but I guess it was a tough week. Anyway, onwards and upwards!

I had a lovely (quiet!) day at the uni library yesterday and got lots done on my first assignment. It was nice to be back at my old uni and to see how things have changed. The library has a cafe now! Good coffee too. The mozzies are still a bugger at the bus stop though. Dave dropped me off in the morning and as we drove past the colleges I told Lil that that’s where I met Daddy. She said, “Oh, but I thought you met Daddy in the bushes.” Ha! Made us laugh. She is right though, we actually met at a bush barn. Dave was riding a mechanical bull the first time I saw him.

The Face of Birth documentary today was amazing. I’m going to buy a copy so I can watch the bonus discs. I just can’t believe that from July next year private midwives attending homebirths could be fined $30,000 and the people home birthing $10,000. If this legislation gets passed it means that only the very few people who live in an area with a public homebirth program (like here in the Hunter) will have this option. As someone who has experienced the system in both the UK and Australia the differences just don’t make sense. In the UK midwives are the standard and obstetricians only see high risk pregnancies. In the UK homebirth was presented to me as a fully valid option, indeed my midwife encouraged it. And although we chose not to have a homebirth in that case the point is we had the choice.

The Face of Birth also highlighted to me just how terribly we treat Indigenous women living in Aboriginal communities in the Northern Territory. Apart from one community with a birth clinic, these pregnant women are forced to leave their home, alone, a few weeks before they give birth and have to sit in a strange environment with nobody they know for weeks until they have their baby and are flown back home. Surely we can do better. The film featured two traditional Aboriginal ‘midwives’ who in decades of experience have never encountered a breach birth. They know how to turn babies. They know what to do. Why don’t we let them do it?

I could go on. Jodi at Che and Fidel has written about the film much more eloquently than I have.

Have a nice week!

Homebirth Awareness Week

Today I met a beautiful one week old baby girl. She was born at home last week in what her mother described to me as the perfect birth, just how she had imagined. She has four older kids but this was her first homebirth and she said now that she’s experienced this she wants to do it all over again. (Funnily enough, I had the opposite reaction after my amazing homebirth. It was so good, no need to do it again!)

Like me, this mother hadn’t originally planned on having a homebirth and her other children had all been born in hospital/birth centres. But also like me, once she considered it it just seemed like the right choice to make.

We are lucky to have that choice. We are lucky to live in an area where we have access to a publicly funded midwife program. Where the cost of a homebirth is covered by Medicare and where midwives do not have to worry about the reception they may get if they transfer a homebirthing mother to hospital for whatever reason. They all work together.

These programs are few and far between in this country and private midwives are becoming harder and more expensive to access. A media release yesterday from Homebirth Australia stated, “Overly restrictive legislation has meant that the number of private midwives attending births in Australia has dropped from 200 midwives in 2009 to only 90 midwives in 2011.” This means that many women are being forced into hospital births they don’t want.

I would just like everyone to have the opportunity to experience what I experienced. I know homebirth is not a choice everyone wants to make. I certainly never imagined it would be a choice I would make, but I am grateful that when it came to it, the choice was there to make. I would hate for that to be taken away.

Owlet wrote a great post for Homebirth Awareness Week last year. In it she writes, “I am aware that homebirth is an amazing, life changing, completely normal, everyday miracle kind of thing.” Indeed it is.